1Malaysia Varsity in a Malaysia Bolehland.

It’s a dilemma. Or an issue. Maybe a conflict dalaman thingy. Perhaps, it’s just a glimpse of reality of our ummah which really bites.

Situation 1

Lecturer X: You know what, Muna (bukan nama sebenar), you should change your personality.

Me: Change my personality?

Lecturer X: Yes. You cannot be too nice, too sweet. Get vibrant a bit, but don’t clone me. I’m one of a kind.

Me: - smiling- (monolog dalaman: me? cloning you? will that benefited me in a way or another?)

Lecturer X: Many Malays think that if we don’t dress up like you, we’re not Malay

Me: - pretending like paying attention to every details of the story – (thinking: dress codes? what? Wearing hijab, hand socks, jeans and flat shoes?)

Lecturer X: There are many ways of showing our personality. It’s not only through our dressing, and many people do not know that. Like you, one day you’ll be an English lecturer, and you cannot be like this.

Me: - just can’t be bothered -

Situation 2

Adik S: Kak Muna (bukan nama sebenar) tengah sambung master dalam course apa?

Me: English.

Adik S: English? (muka terkejut tak percaya)

Me: Kenapa?

Adik S: Tak adalah, selalunya orang yang ambil course English yang nak jadi lecturer macam akak, tak pakai macam ni (baju kurung, hand sock and tudung yang labuh a bit).

Me: hehh... (tenat~)

My question, are English lecturers or maybe people who study English are not muslims?

Oh Emmm Geeeee

=_=’

I’m not sure if you noticed such phenomenon. I mean, in this Malaysia Bolehland, people who study in science streamed schools and agama boarding schools are different. The way they behave, their dress codes and apparently the way of how islam is put into picture for these so-called different groups of students.

My question, again, are people who study science are not muslims? What about people who study literature and social science?

In the 1Malaysia varsity I’m in right now, where only Bumis are here, and islam should be practiced MORE freely, the situation could never been better.

English people are different breed. The lecturers and students are kinda noticeable in a way – from the way they socialized and dressed up. And people like me, being placed in the picture is just like an awkward event. They’ll look at you as if they’re human and you’re not. Okay, that’s emotional and quite digressed a bit.

Truth hurts.

And yet, if we are questioned why we’re being so secular in a way or another, we’ll gone mad. Hehh, how irony things could be.

Of course, this is 1Malaysia varsity in a Malaysia Bolehland -_-’

Banyak nya ‘KERJA’ kita!

Note 1: “(We sent them) with clear Signs and Books of dark prophecies; and We have sent down unto thee (also) Message; that thou mayest explain clearly to men what is sent for them, and that they may give thought” (An Nahl, 16:44)

Note 2: Mari berbuat kerana Allah. Bukan untuk sedapkan mata dan hati manusia. We can never pleased everyone on earth, but we can always please one God, inshaAllah.

Note 3: Change the world within you, then the world around you would change, inshaAllah.

inche proposal

in the name of Allah, my Lord, my everything, inshaAllah...



alhamdulillah, thumma alhamdulillah, thumma alhamdulillah...



this one is not officially announced yet, but still, alhamdulillah, from a 150% trusted source I scored band 2 (m not so sure if the score is called as band or what. however, the best rate is 1 and I considered 2 is good enough to push my research proposal through, hey!) for my defense of research proposal (drp).







it worth all the time and efforts alhamdulillah. but seriously, what i gave was only 15% of the success. the major parts were prayers from others, especially my family and friends and my dokter pembimbing's advices and great time mending all my 'linking problems'.



ultimately, without Allah's will and consent, nothing could be done. and this 'green light' signal of me pursuing with my current title of research will go avail. Allah huAkbar, walillahilhamdh ;D



let's get started! the main concern is not about getting it done and that's it! but to become the real master of the field. and i bet you, it's a long way to go and it ain't a 'play-play' business =_='







every master was once a disaster. may Allah guide and ease the sailing!

chiku's

bismillah... :)



saya kurang pasti waktu menulis post ini harus suka atau cuak. cuak sebab tarikh defense untuk proposal sudah sangat dekat. dan sudah 3 hari berkampung di fakulti dengan Dokter Pembimbing.









tapi memang seharusnya rasa yang ada itu syukur :)



semalam beliau belikan saya pau perasa ayam untuk sarapan pagi (comel kan? hehe).



semalam dan hari sebelum semalam beliau sepatutnya berehat di rumah, cuti sakit. tetapi beliau memilih untuk menolong saya berurusan dengan inche proposal. dari pagi sampai petang. dan sudah beberapa hari juga beliau terlepas waktu makan tengahari kerana menolong saya.



oh, minggu lepas, saya juga harus bertemu janji dengan beliau. setelah beberapa ketika menunggu beliau samapi dalam keadaan terhuyung hayang. aneh. kerana semua yang mengenali beliau pasti merasa pelik jika melihat orang seperti Dokter Pembimbing saya berjalan sambil memegang dinding dan meja sebagai sokongan.



beliau jatuh di pejabat kwsp (perhatian: dokter pembimbing saya sudah berusia 60 tahun). dan masih menggagahkan diri untuk meneruskan temu janji dengan saya.

T___T

siang tadi keluar makan tengah hari dengan Dokter Pembimbing dan beberapa orang pensyarah lain di fakulti. dalam kereta selepas selesai makan, pensyarah yang memandu menghulurkan sejambak (tak tahu jika ini penjodoh bilangan yang tepat atau tidak) kad dengan kata-kata motivasi. seorang lagi pensyarah lain memilih sekeping kad dan membacanya dengan kuat untuk kami semua dengar. dan kata-kata semangat itu membuatkan saya dan Dokter Pembimbing terdiam 2 saat.

----> EVERY MASTER WAS ONCE A DISASTER <----

Dokter Pembimbing: Did you hear that, muna (bukan nama sebenar)?

Saya: yes doctor.

"dan janganlah kamu mengikuti sesuatu yang tidak kamu ketahui. kerana pendengaran, penglihatan dan hati nurani, semua itu akan diminta pertanggungjawabannya.

dan janganlah engkau berjalan di bumi ini dengan sombong, kerana sesungguhnya engkau tidak akan dapat menembus bumi dan tidak akan dapat menjulang stinggi gunung"

(Al Isra' 17: 36,37)

persembahan olok-olok

bismillah...




jam sudah menunjukkan tepat pukul 9.45 pagi. RED alert! Sumpah kalau lambat keluar, akan terlepas bas dan telat untuk temu janji dengan dokter pembimbing (read: supervisor).




bergelut dengan kantuk dan lelah, hampir satu jam juga bersiap setelah memastikan semua yang perlu dibawa juga di cetak keluar (read: print out) sudah diselamatkan (read: save) di dalam pen pemandu (read: pendrive). dan saya mengambil masa 'ekstra' untuk menunggu inche lappy padam dengan sepenuhnya. okey,tipu. kurang 30 saat menunggu saya memaksa inche lappy untuk padam secara manual.




11.30 pagi, selamat tiba di fakulti. dan sungguh, untuk semua perkara ada alamatnya. ada tanda-tandanya.


contoh:

1. leher membesar tanda kanser
2. sakit perut tanda mahu ke tandas
3. cakap putar-putar tanda kurang keyakinan. mungkin sedang menipu.
4. seorang ibu melahirkan tuannya, tanda dunia mahu kiamat. err
5. dan lain-lain.




tetapi, satu perkara yang saya suka maklumkan (based on empirical studies) LAPTOP ROSAK memang tak ada TANDA-TANDA yang menunjukkan lagi 27 minit dia akan meragam atau mogok lapar! eh -_-"




baiklah. itu yang terjadi sebenarnya, hujung minggu yang lalu. esoknya saya ada pembentangan olok-olok kertas kerja (read: mock defense) dan laptop saya padam, tanpa dapat diselamatkan langsung. slides untuk pembentangan olok-olok juga belum siap. apatah lagi draf yang sempurna untuk kertas kerja. oh, sebenarnya ini adalah kali ke tiga sepanjang hayat saya bergelar chiku. (chiku = young and novice researcher). menarik bukan?







tak ada apa pun yang signifikan sebenarnya. laptop sahaja yang rosak. saya masih dalam keadaan baik alhamdulillah. otak, paru-paru, buah pinggang juga jantung hati masih beroperasi seperti biasa. padahal seriyesssssssssssssss stressssssssssss. ingat proposal sahaja akan rasa mahu menangis. eh tak, maksud saya rasa 'teruja' [^^,"]. ehermmnn... (cleaning throat).




tapi inshaAllah, rahmat Tuhan itu luas. ada sahaja cara Dia mahu selamatkan hambaNya TT__________________TT (baiknya Allah). tak tahulah mahu cerita bagaimana. panjaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaanng sangat.



ada Dr.O, inche Ammal, Dr.D, Nab (semuanya bukan nama sebenar) yang membantu di saat-saat kritikal. dan yang paling utama, doa dari emak dan juga yang lainnya yang membantu dan melancarkan perjalanan persembahan olok-olok saya. (read: presentation for mock defense).




Allah huAkbar, walillahilhamdh.




kesimpulannya, sabar juga usaha itu tiada batasnya, sampailah ke saat terakhir. jangan pernah berputus asa.




tiada apa yang mampu melemahkan kita, melainkan diri kita sendiri. dan terang sekali (read: apparently) peranan syaitonirrojiim yang sentiasa mahu kita menjauh dari rahmat juga kasih sayang Tuhan. yang mahu kita bersangka yang bukan-bukan kepada yang Maha Mencintai itu.




takut dan risau itu dua sifat yang melemahkan kita. sila jauhi mereka. maksud saya sifat-sifat tersebut. boleh jadi ada orang di sekeliling kita yang boleh menyebarkan viris tersebut juga. maka, tolong jaga minda juga hati kita agar tidak mudah terpengaruh.



untuk itu, kita mesti menanamkan rasa tenang dan yakin. dan keduanya tidak datang percuma. perlu usaha, ilmu juga persediaan. dan yang paling utama, HANYA dengan SEIZIN ALLAH sahaja semuanya berlaku. baik atau buruk. apa yang akan menimpa kita, pasti akan berlaku. begitu juga apa yang tidak akan menimpa kita pasti tidak akan berlaku. yakin dengan rahmat Tuhan!

"pena-pena telah pun diangkat. dan lembaran sudah pun kering"

we never blamed LOVE even LOVE has caused PLENTY of wars

In the name of Allah, my Lord, my everything inshaAllah.

In a first place, the title I have above for this post has no relations with any part of the entire post I'm about to write.

But in case you're kinda so affected with the title I put before the post, that should tell us something about yourself and how your mind operates. hehh... (gelak keji). when people say, don't judge a book by its cover, I'd rather put 'don't judge a post by its title'. that is stereotyping.

welcome to the dunya, where things are not always what they seem (boonaa mohammed)

yes, we need some basic information from preconceived thoughts we have by stereotyping things, people or events in life just to give us rough ideas on how things work and how we can do about it. but being so glued with certain thoughts might hinder us to accept new knowledge and to attract new experience.


alright. enough of explaining the title and post relationship. I guess I've put too much efforts in doing it (Kedahans -(read like Malaysians) say pulun) which I know I can ended up writing about something else.

....

Last time I met Dr.D, I showed her my fifth draft of my research proposal. the very same case Matlutfi had with his lecturer or supervisor.


Dr.D: Let's just forget about this.
Me: Huhh...?

(silent for 5 seconds while she took her time to analyze my reactions)

Dr.D: Let's just forget about your proposal

----> before she could continue with her next phrase I have this thought in mind of which only God knows how scared I was for the next millisecond. the scariest part if I can say in my entire life. waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyy scarier than having hantu kumkum standing before you. okay. that's too much.


Dr.D: Let's just forget about your drafts for a moment.

(well, that definitely, officially puts my writing-mode in a temporary comma)

Dr.D: I can see that you have done your homework, but still ....


well, the rest is history. I bet you'll never wanna know that or it'll make you think 34 times before you wanna give yourself a chance of being a master-jee in research in your next future. sekian.


anyway. that what I call master-jee's life. I know, venturing in into something that you know how much efforts you've put in it and it turned out to be a frustrating end, is seriously tiresome, ho-hummed and up to a point you really wanna give in.

nothing can beat that feeling. except by knowing one fact. and knowing it is not enough. we must understand it well, digest and internalize it within us.

the fact that...

--------> we're human. a slave to our Creator <---------

understanding it, gives us a good reason to calmly accept what is written for us. it's just as simple as knowing where you stand and what that position demands from you. after all, there are lots more to be cherished and treasured in this life. He gave us and still providing us with all of our needs and necessity. not to mentioned all the love we have in this world which counting the bless is the only thing He wants from us (though He seriously doesn't need that. not at all).

why so sad? doesn't He promised us that with every hardship, there is relief? doesn't He promised us that with every calamity, it's a chance for us to be close and near to Him?

apparently, it's always easier said than done.

and not many knows that it's just the way we perceive things. it's just how we accept and respond to all sorts of tests being imposed to us.

if we took it as a punishment, then please enjoy the suffer. if we took it as a loss, then do enjoy the pain.

it's our mind, and paradigm.

when we can turn the stress into eustress, why waste the energy pondering and dwelling over the things which are beyond our control?

when we have every chance to become a better person, why wait and hesitate?

let's just choose to be thankful. let's just choose to be happy. we have no time to waste on things which cannot be undone. trying so hard to control the effects of everything we do can only bring us distress. the more we carry on our shoulders, the harder for us to move.

Leave all of our affairs and burdens to Allah, for Him to take care of them as He is the best plan maker. our only part is to do our very best in every single thing we strive in this world. and believe you, me, He will cater the rest.

if, and if only we're living with the fact that we are HIS SLAVES, do we have any reason to feel sad, abandoned and distress?

how man gets and forgets
how He gives and forgives
yes, everyone will die
but not everyone truly lives
on their hands and knees
to the skies begging "please...
do what is worthy of Thee;
not what is worthy for me
Ar-rahmanniir Rahiim, Maaliki yawmiddiin
if it is not for His blessings
then we would have nothing
so feel no ways calling myself his slave
no matter what they say
to HIM, alone, I pray.

(boonaa mohammed, how to become a slave)

macam-macam hal daaa...

Bismillah…

Belakangan ini banyak sungguh perkara yang tidak selesai-selesai.

Me: Inche X, apa cerita laptop saya?

Inche X: Laptop awak okay je. Saya sibuk sikit sekarang ni, nanti bila free, saya hantarkan.

Me: Terima kasih banyak (naive)

Itu dua minggu lepas, bila sepatutnya sudah selesai lebih awal dari itu. Dan saya masih dengan ‘considerate’ terlebih, memberi masa dan kelapangan, harta saya yang paling berharga.

Me: Inche X, saya ke sana ambil laptop, boleh?

-----> tiada balasan

Esoknya.

Me: Inche, saya ke sana ambil laptop. Laptop lama saya ni dah tak boleh nak buat kerja-kerja berat. (saya nak angkut pergi program dan yuyu pun berat). Minta tolong respon

Inche X: Laptop awak tu rosak baliklah. Bagi saya masa sampai hujung minggu ni, saya sibuk sikit. Nanti saya hantar ke rumah.

Tak tahu harus respon apa. marah dan bengang sebenarnya. Tetapi, tak tahu harus ditujukan kepada siapa? Kalau benar rosak, apa gunanya saya berkeras mahu ambil laptop tu?

Sehabis boleh saya mahu bersangaka baik dengan Inche X, yang dah pegang laptop tu sekian lama, dari bulan 7 hari tu, sampai nak masuk bulan 11 dah sekarang.

Mak: Entah-entah dia dah jual laptop tu kak

Me: Eh, takkan lah…

Elok saja saya masukkan RM25x.xx ke dalam akaun beliau, terus senyap. Takkan lah nak menipu wang ‘sekecil’ itu kan…? Saya yakin dia sangat sibuk, baru dinaikkan pangkat katanya.

Ya, sebelum itu pun saya sudah berusaha untuk mencari masa supaya saya dapat mengambil sendiri laptop itu yang katanya sudah ‘baik’.

Nanti, nanti… katanya belum siap format lah. Hardware tak adalah… entah.

Mungkinkah saya harus melupakan sahaja laptop itu juga harapan saya untuk menyiapkan proposal juga thesis saya sepanjang hayat saya menjadi master-jee ini?

T___________________________T

Ikut hati, memang malas mahu fikir dan ambil pusing. Tapi, saya tidak mampu. Hey, rosak-rosak pun, kalau dah tahap tak boleh guna, mestilah saya masih mahu melihat ‘bangkai’nya juga! Kalau iya pun boleh dibuat tukul saja (sebab dah rosak dan tak boleh nak repair lagi), biar saya yang guna tukul tu, bukan anda, okay?

Macam memperbesarkan isu. Laptop je pun (sob…sob…:’( huu).

Berbalik kepada tajuk sebenar. Banyak sungguh perkara yang idak selesai. Apa masalah saya?

Mungkin ini pengajaran.

Muna (bukan nama sebenar) sila semak kembali.

URUSAN SIAPA YANG KAU AMBIL RINGAN DAN TIDAK SELESAIKAN?

Buka tafsir, terus dapat ini:

‘Maka apabila manusia ditimpa bencana, dia menyeru Kami. Kemudian apabila Kami berikan nikmat Kami kepadanya dia berkata, ‘sesungguhnya aku diberi nikmat ini hanyalah kerana kepintaranku’ sebenarnya, itu adalah ujian, tetapi kebanyakan mereka tidak mengetahui’ (azZumar 39 :49)

T___________________________T

september 11 + 10

Bismillah…

“You and Aizat (bukan nama sebenar) were supposed to see me at 2pm in APB today”

Oh-em-geeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

-_-“

Please mark the word WERE written above.

WERE = past tense for ARE

-----> pragmatically explained that we WERE not there.

I WASN’T there, for the meeting.

Kre-ji. [read: gi-la @ crazy]

I’m a dead meat.

I was doing my market survey, way in Mont Kiara and she texted me to remind me of my carelessness bout my ‘master-jee’ business.

I texted her back, apologized for my ‘mild alzheimer’ side effects (forgetting her, my mr. proposal and everything about my master-jee businesses when they’re actually always there, at the back of my head).

And, to my pleasant surprise,

She DID NOT reply.

Enough said. The rest is history.

In a split second, many things could happen should you missed or just couldn’t care-less bout your study stuff and all that.

Just imagine for an one hour.

Or for the rest or your master-jee life.

-_-“

Fine. This is not cool anymore, muna (bukan nama sebenar).

One GREAT lesson, don’t ever mess up with your lecturer/supervisor for such academia thingy.

Forgetting your real business, is a disaster

Not being alert with your schedule, is another disastrous disaster.

Mess up with your supervisor, is just another disastrously disastrous disaster.

There gone, my reputation.

What a disastrously disastrous disaster disaster.