.:soft reminder:.

"And if My servants ask thee about Me - behold, I am NEAR; I respond to the call of him who calls, whenever he calls unto Me; let them, then, respond unto Me, and believe in Me, so they might follow the right way" (2:186)

Saturday, December 31, 2011

so long



in the name of Allah, my Lord, my everything. inshaAllah.


semacam lame sahaja perasaan ini. i mean, writing the very last post for the year of 2011, while others are having great time, celebrating the new year's eve with their very own ways. dengan perhimpunan 1000 jiwa, 1 hati, mabit, tuition tafsir fizilal di gombak etc.


tapi, semestinya, perasaan kita itu, kita yang harus pilih. mahu gembira atau tidak. mahu bahagia atau tidak. dan saya memilih untuk berasa TENANG dan BERSYUKUR. SELALU. inshaAllah.


i'd just like to stop. for a while to look back and remember all sorts of good and sweet things i have in life. i thank Allah for granting me everything i love. everything i want. everything i need, apparently. thank you Allah, for not charging me every breath i take and oxygen i use for free for more than 23 years. i mean 19 actually.


let's count His blessings.



f-r-i-e-n-d-s

surely i've lots to be remembered on this subject. having great puasa and raya time with all of my besties, weddings etc. tunggu 'anak buah' je nihh... :)







my family life.


last eid was the first eid without tok wan with us. i wasn't there when he's gone. we had very least interactions and communications but he left a deep, empty space inside me. and i bet, my father was the one who had the deepest pain and lost. may Allah bless my late tok wan, until we meet again, in His jannah. inshaAllah.






adik and peja were successfully done their diploma. but of course, peja missed his graduation day. -_-' we have three 1st class engineers in house. say 'worry no more' to short circuit' hehe...





bang pis is now engaged with a sweet lovely kakak. i guess everybody is looking forward to his menikah day. oh, it's a pre-invitation as well to you, who read this post (especially to bang pis' friend whom i scratched his orange modified kelisa last time, when i was so sleepy that i banged his favorite car with my mother's auto gate +_-).





Y-U-Y-U

it'a a meaningful year of my yuyu life. Allah huAkbar, walillahilhamdh :)
benarlah bila inche SYed Qutb berkata di dalam mukaddimah Fi Zilal nya, ke'best'an something itu hanya dapat dirasai oleh mereka yang pernah merasainya. nak tahu betapa lazatnya ukhwah dan betapa syok nya menatap wajah akhowat, i invite you to join this 'jihad of love'. semoga Allah menjaga hati kita semua, sampai kita kembali menemuiNya, menyambut ucapan 'salaam' dariNya.. Allah huAkbar :)




mungkin tasik PKNS akan jadi kenangan paling indah, remembering the late old days of yuyu time and most importantly, the 'ABC paling sedaaaaaaaaap sedunia' treat by Kak Siti and kak Akhma, back in 2009. i guess it was a rightful beginning of this road. may Allah grant us jannah, boleh makan ABC yang sumpah tak terbayang sedapnya di dunia ni :)





ada sesuatu yang berlaku. sebuah perubahan pada tahun 2011. dan hakikatnya, demi perubahan itu terlalu banyak yang saya pelajari. Allah huAKbar, walillahilhamdh. kefahaman dan pengorbanan. dua kata yang sungguh besar dan berat untuk dimaknai. untuk setiap hati bersih yang menyentuh jiwa ini, semoga Allah sahaja yang mengganjarinya.




ohhh...! ini.... bahagian ini.... sesuatu yang terlalu indah. hadiah yang paling manis dari Dia, jatuh, tidak jauh dari saya. ya, kadang-kala meredah gelap malam demi 1 jam yang bermakna itu cukup menakutkan. dengan kes 'gadis bermasalah' dan entah semangat apa yang mendorong saya berjalan lebih laju daripada menunggu bas sumpah seranas, semuanya menjadi bahagian indah dalam hidup saya. this is what i call 'night life'. dan bila mereka terbang jauh, separuh dari hati saya turut pergi.






she's just an arissa, the master-jee to be...

satu tahun yang... humn...jika mengikut pola perkembangan ibu-ibu mengandung, pastilah saya sudah masuk ke tahap kritikal luar alam. one year and yet, masih belum mempertahankan (read: defend) proposal saya. beberapa kali on and off reading mood plus dua kali meletakkan mood menulis dalam keadaan koma didarab dengan 5 kali bertukar tajuk research, memang tidak boleh dibantulah, jika saya masih mahu bermain sorok-sorok dengan doktor supervisor =_='


oh, secara rasminya, saya sudah tidak bekerja dengan Dr.O (bukan nama sebenar) lagi. no more SKS a.k.a hard labor routines. hehee ^^, alhamdulillah, saya sudah punya penghasilan. takdir yang begitu sempurna susunan juga aturannya dari DIA. dan segala duka itu satu keindahan. semua cinta itu suatu kedamaian.




sebuah persidangan penterjemahan antarabangsa. kerja gi-la. dan saya hanya mahu katakan sesuatu dengan indah sekali. stop listening to others. usaha itu bahagian kita, tetapi pertolongan dan takdir yang terakhir itu dari DIA. kita hanya perlukan sebuah keimanan yang menjadi sumber keberanian. titik.




menjejaki taman syurgaNYA, dari raudhah Baginda SAW. sebuah rasa yang... terlalu sukar untuk diungkapkan. dahulu, lewaty usia 15 tahun saya sudha memasang azam mahu sampai ke bumi Bakkah itu, dan Dia sampaikan. alhamdulillah. berharaplah, dan kita akan menuju apa yang kita harapkan itu. inshaAllah, jika dipanjangkan usia, dimurahkan rezeki, dengan izinNYA, 2015 (kena mula menabung hey!) saya mahu ke sana semula. kerana Dia inshaAllah :)





err...
hahahaha. saya masih begitu, tidur di mana-mana sahaja, sesepah mana yang saya mahu, terutama sekali dalam waktu-waktu genting. sekian.




paling utama, 2012 ini, memang tahun KITA (quote, unquote). Kuatkan Iman, Tingkatkan Amal. tahun baru tu, bagi saya hanya nombor. sebab tu umur saya masih 19 dari 4 tahun dahulu. eh.


apa yang paling penting, setiap hari kita mesti berusaha untuk memberi dan menjadi yang terbaik. hidup hanya sekali. bagaimana kita memanfaatinya, itu nanti yang akan disoal di sana. rancang dengan apa yang ada di tangan. kembali kepada Dia, semoga Dia lapangkan segala urusan.



azam saya hanya satu. mahu kembali kepada Dia dalam keadaan jiwa suci, yang paling Dia redhai. amin.







Thursday, December 22, 2011

we never blamed LOVE even LOVE has caused PLENTY of wars

video



In the name of Allah, my Lord, my everything inshaAllah.


In a first place, the title I have above for this post has no relations with any part of the entire post I'm about to write.

But in case you're kinda so affected with the title I put before the post, that should tell us something about yourself and how your mind operates. hehh... (gelak keji). when people say, don't judge a book by its cover, I'd rather put 'don't judge a post by its title'. that is stereotyping.

welcome to the dunya, where things are not always what they seem (boonaa mohammed)

yes, we need some basic information from preconceived thoughts we have by stereotyping things, people or events in life just to give us rough ideas on how things work and how we can do about it. but being so glued with certain thoughts might hinder us to accept new knowledge and to
attract new experience.


alright. enough of explaining the title and post relationship. I guess I've put too much efforts in doing it (Kedah
ans -(read like Malaysians) say pulun) which I know I can ended up writing about something else.

....

Last time I met Dr.D, I showed her my fifth draft of my research proposal. the very same case Matlutfi had with his lecturer or supervisor.


Dr.D: Let's just forget about this.
Me: Huhh...?

(silent for 5 seconds while she took her time to analyze my reactions)

Dr.D: Let's just forget about your proposal

----> before she could continue with her next phrase I have this thought in mind of which only God knows how scared I was for the next millisecond. the scariest part if I can say in my entire life. waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyy scarier than having hantu kumkum standing before you. okay. that's too much.


Dr.D: Let's just forget about your drafts for a moment.

(well, that definitely, officially puts my writing-mode in a temporary comma)

Dr.D: I can see that you have done your homework, but still ....


well, the rest is history. I bet you'll never wanna know that or it'll make you think 34 times before you wanna give yourself a chance of being a master-jee in research in your next future. sekian.


anyway. that what I call master-jee's life. I know, venturing in into something that you know how much efforts you've put in it and it turned out to be a frustrating end, is seriously tiresome, ho-hummed and up to a point you really wanna give in.

nothing can beat that feeling. except by knowing one fact. and knowing it is not enough. we must understand it well, digest and internalize it within us.

the fact that...

--------> we're human. a slave to our Creator <---------

understanding it, gives us a good reason to calmly accept what is written for us. it's just as simple as knowing where you stand and what that position demands from you. after all, there are lots more to be cherished and treasured in this life. He gave us and still providing us with all of our needs and necessity. not to mentioned all the love we have in this world which counting the bless is the only thing He wants from us (though He seriously doesn't need that. not at all).

why so sad? doesn't He promised us that with every hardship, there is relief? doesn't He promised us that with every calamity, it's a chance for us to be close and near to Him?

apparently, it's always easier said than done.

and not many knows that it's just the way we perceive things. it's just how we accept and respond to all sorts of tests being imposed to us.

if we took it as a punishment, then please enjoy the suffer. if we took it as a loss, then do enjoy the pain.

it's our mind, and paradigm.

when we can turn the stress into eustress, why waste the energy pondering and dwelling over the things which are beyond our control?

when we have every chance to become a better person, why wait and hesitate?

let's just choose to be thankful. let's just choose to be happy. we have no time to waste on things which cannot be undone. trying so hard to control the effects of everything we do can only bring us distress. the more we carry on our shoulders, the harder for us to move.

Leave all of our affairs and burdens to Allah, for Him to take care of them as He is the best plan maker. our only part is to do our very best in every single thing we strive in this world. and believe you, me, He will cater the rest.

if, and if only we're living with the fact that we are HIS SLAVES, do we have any reason to feel sad, abandoned and distress?


how man gets and forgets
how He gives and forgives
yes, everyone will die
but not everyone truly lives
on their hands and knees
to the skies begging "please...
do what is worthy of Thee;
not what is worthy for me
Ar-rahmanniir Rahiim, Maaliki yawmiddiin
if it is not for His blessings
then we would have nothing
so feel no ways calling myself his slave
no matter what they say
to HIM, alone, I pray.

(boonaa mohammed, how to become a slave)