What A Life, huh?

In the name of Allah, my Lord, my Everything :)

Allah huAkbar, Allah huAkbar Allah huAkbar, walillahil hamdh

(hey, I started this entry in a right manner –I supposed- huhuuu inshaAllah)

As I went on rambling and ranting on my previous entry, I still couldn’t get myself over it -----> those stuff that made me despair or something like that. I usually have this ‘writing therapy’ to make me realize that there’re always more to live. But this time around, it seems like I’ve to learn it the hard way. Ouch!

Ok.

--------------------> it’s about the 3^rd month of my post-grad life. And I’m progressing like Pentium 1 desktop computer, coping very hard to the expectations of what I’m ought to do and be. The ‘temporary comma’ for my reading mode has officially reached an end, the moment I met my dearest supervisor last week. And I realized she made me practically read and read and read and read a long list of ‘important stuff’ every single day until the end of March before I can tell my interest field to suicide myself do my research on. No lie.

What really ticks me off about this is that, I didn’t perform as I should. I put the blame on me. Should something bugged me off; I’ll take quite some times to get myself ‘recover’ and start to picking up or something like that quite slow. Guess I’m living a real ineffective life with inefficient heart and mind management. Three-month time should have taught me lots of things and I shall be way more familiar with my ‘current status’, right? T_______________________T

--------------------------> this second ‘prima-facie’ is lil bit disastrous at one point or another. This is what a daughter can cost a father. Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh… (I hope that gives you the idea how scary my upcoming point would be)

You see, I’ve been serving my academy under the ‘Post-grad Scheme’ and working for 24-hours per month should allow me to claim thirteen hundreds bucks from the management. And the word ‘claim’ itself has drawn a negative connotation which would mean ‘a long-torturing full of anticipation- wait’. And between that period of time, this dearest, apple of her father’s eyes beautiful daughter has caused ‘tremendous’ troubles along the way. Mark my point here; since I can’t afford myself yet, I’ve to still, depending on my father’s wallet to survive my full of ‘pleasant surprises’ life.

Last week, I was so kind to ‘wash’ a friend’s contact lenses’ case altogether with her lenses which of course I need to replace her ‘eyes’ back with my pocket money----> from my father. I know I was seriously clumsy and all over the place. My bad, my bad.

At another point of time, I was so very friendly that I was utilizing my post-paid Celcom plan to the max. Errr, actually, I made my father pays around hundred every month. Yes, that’s terrible. I must figure out tactic and strategy which sounds like ‘wise-use’ or something or else, ... I don’t have the heart to imagine what’s next.

Other than that, I’m real mobile and flexible that I could get myself everywhere I wish to. And be careful with the ‘mobility and flexibility’ notion. To move or to get myself somewhere, would mean, another consumption of money. I hop in and off of public transports too often and caught lots of ‘cabs’ as well.

Stressed out.

Perhaps, I need to look for other part time jobs. Or apply for various scheme, incentives or stuff like that to draw in some financial assistance for my ‘uncang magic’. Starting a small business would make a sound too. Hurmn… all of the alternatives were listed. It’s about time to pick.

I wanna be good ^^