uncertainties

Allah huAkbar, Allah huAkbar, Allah huAkbar walillahilhamdh

It had been days since I registered for my masters programme. I’ve wrote another proposal after Dr.Dinna has successfully convinced me to change my topic. Well, she didn’t explicitly do so but as she elaborated over and over about my suggested topic which I’ve proposed earlier on to the head of the programme, I soon, became very doubtful about it. She’s seriously a great persuader. She only needs 15 minutes of our entire meeting and taddaa~ there I gone dumbfounded. God.

Anyway, that drove me half nuts for a couple of days, running after the dead line to submit my dear second proposal or I’m dead. Hehh.. and Alhamdulillah, by Allah’s will, I was able to do so and here I am, in my parents home waiting for the board to call for another meeting with my real supervisor. I’ve nothing to do in Shah Alam after all, but during the weekend to see my beloved sisters inshaAllah.

There’s one feeling that forbids me to fully enjoy myself doing this – my post grad thingy ------> fear of uncertainties. Though in life, there’s nothing certain for us to contentedly live with but at least, some useful experiences and knowledge would be very helpful in paving our paths as we can predict what lies ahead even our assumptions, more often than not are inaccurate. But this time, it’s extremely different. Okay, the word extreme might sound kinda overly exaggerated but seriously, it’s totally different.

From friends I’m living with, house I’m staying in, study method I’ve to undergo up to the transport I used to hop in. to put it simple, the life that I’ll be living. Oh my… okay, now that sounds pessimistic but they did bother me. Guess that shows how women are so particular about small tiny little thing. And a person who claimed she’s more masculine in sense of thinking and perceiving things in life shouldn’t act that way. Hooo +_-

I should’ve not been so meticulous about yet-to-come events, right? Because it is damn true that what lies ahead is beyond our control and realm of knowledge. Dare to be different in a stranger’s place is the challenge which I’ve to take. I have to take up the risk for the road I’ve chosen to walk on and bear with the pedestrians who walk along with me, on this barren road. After all, this is just another journey which is too short and impermanent to be compared with the final destination which I’m living for. Thus, live well, travel well.

---------------------> life is not about finding ourselves, but it is about creating ourselves. What we wanna be and what we wanna do by knowing ourselves (which took lesser time than doing the finding part).

Stay positive towards life and open our minds and hearts to accept even the cruelest fact about it. Live within the reality and don’t be so taken aback with anything which might sadden us but stay sensible and objective. It’ll be very helpful. Have faith in Him and put our trust in Him for He will not burden us with something beyond our strengths and limitations.

He loves us and cares for us like nobody could do neither we can ever imagine. Let’s turn to Him.

"And if My servants ask thee about Me - behold, I am NEAR; I respond to the call of him who calls, whenever he calls unto Me; let them, then, respond unto Me, and believe in Me, so they might follow the right way" (2:186)